Please Help Make this Book a Reality!

My friend, and fellow adoptive father, Peter Greer has co-authored a book on adoption called Mommy’s Heart went POP! It is a story of adoption that looks helpful for families, both parents and kids, processing inter-racial adoption. Joy and I have joined the cause by pledging our support for the book project, and I’d like to invite my readers to join us. In less than one week another $3,000 are needed to push the project into reality. Thanks for considering this request! Click the cover image to see the KickStarter site for the project. (Greer is also the president of Hope International, a Christian micro-finance company.)

Steve Jobs: Estranged with Biological Father

Steve Jobs (r) and his biological father Abdulfattah "John" Jandali (l) never met after Jobs was adopted.

While Steve Jobs is adopted, he has talked about his biological mother and sister publicly before. (See the beginnings of this commencement address, it is very moving.) Here is a little taste of the piece of the article about their relationship from Alexandra Berzon:

Mr. Jandali only learned around 2005 that Mr. Jobs was his biological son. He doesn’t remember how he heard, but he said the news was “a major shock.”

After that, Mr. Jandali began watching online videos of Mr. Jobs’s famous keynote speeches launching Apple products. He emailed a few times in the past year after becoming aware of Mr. Jobs’s failing health.

“I don’t know why I emailed,” Mr. Jandali said. “I guess because I felt bad when I heard about the health situation. He had his life and I had my life, and we were not in contact. If I talked to him, I don’t know what I would have said to him.”

The article is an interesting, and sad, look at the relationship that never was. There is also information about Jobs’ relationship with his biological mother and sister. Check out the rest here.

 

Steve Jobs: Adoptee

Amidst the various thoughts that have been offered about Steve Jobs in the days following his passing, I’ve come across several interesting thoughts I will share today in this space. First, I was interested to find out that Jobs was adopted. I’ll have another post later today about his relationship with his father (and biological family in general), but first I want to point out some comments from LifeNews.com. Ryan Bomberger begins his piece by reflecting on learning of Jobs’ death.

The news hit me in the gut. I couldn’t believe I was seeing those few numbers, communicating his passing, beneath his photo: 1955-2011. Steve Jobs has, literally, changed the world. I’m typing this on my Mac, will check my emails and Twitter status on my iPad, and will stay in touch with everyone I love through my iPhone.

As a creative professional, his visionary work has helped my own visions become reality.

But his vision, his destiny and his ability to affect people, globally, may never have happened.  Jobs was adopted as a baby and loved by his parents, Clara and Paul Jobs. The baby they took into their hearts and home had a purpose in life that would be unleashed by the powerful act of adoption.

He began today’s revolutionary Apple company and has departed this world with a professional legacy that is awe-inspiring. The partially bitten apple represents the temptation that millions of us have been unable to avoid…waiting in day long lines for shiny objects that proved to us science fiction could be made reality by a creative genius. Jobs’ minimalistic approach delivered a multitude of near-perfect electronic devices.  From amber screens to full-color high definition, visually we’ve been changed by the adoption of Apple’s technology.

Bomberger then turns his attention to how this should be a reminder to Christians:

It’s amazing to me that, in 2011, especially among Christians, how foreign a concept adoption is. Adoption is the essence of salvation. There is no Christianity without adoption, in the spiritual sense. Yet, in the physical sense, it is rarely considered as an option. For those who are so passionately prolife, it is often the challenge thrown before us in our opposition to abortion, and rightfully so.

We have an opportunity to unleash purpose in a child waiting to be loved. I was one of those children back in 1971. Steve Jobs was back in 1955. The beauty of possibility is that we all can play a role in helping to foster and encourage it.  Who knows what my children, both adopted and biological, will become? All I know is that loving them, unconditionally, will allow their God-given purpose to flourish.

The nation’s largest abortion chain, aborting 340 children for every 1 woman that is referred for adoption, is the antithesis to this purpose. Planned Parenthood celebrates their founder who believed that “we are paying for and even submitting to the dictates of an ever increasing, unceasingly spawning class of human beings who never should have been born at all.” Contrary toMargaret Sanger’s warped mentality that children are “marked when they’re born” as “diseased, delinquents, and felons”, none of us know the beautiful potential that every life possesses.

We celebrate human triumph over the seemingly insurmountable.

There are so many well-known adopted individuals that have impacted many of our lives in one way or another: Charles Dickens, George Washington Carver, Nat King Cole, Babe Ruth, Dave Thomas (Wendy’s), Bo Diddley (musician/performer), Dan O’Brien (Olympic Decathlon Gold Medalist) and Faith Hill, just to name a few. Steve Jobs is among this list of infinite possibility. No matter the perceived worldly success of an adoptee, adoption is a loving act that transforms, not only the life of the child, but the entire family. And, sometimes, the world.

While I don’t know what motivated the Jobs’ adoptive parents, their actions were certainly noble. Jobs was not someone who seemed, at least to public appearances, particularly interested in faith in Christ. How much more impact could we as believers have if we adopt kids with the same potential, and help them to realize that potential while serving the One who invested them with that potential. Once again, I can’t help but pray that God will continue to stir hearts with His heart for the orphans among us. (See yesterday’s post of a video related to this topic.)

Government or Church: Whose Job Is It?

An interesting piece on who should be caring for the orphans and widows. Amidst the debate over what the government can and/or should be doing (or not doing) about the widows and orphans, we tend to forget all of the things we should each be doing personally and collectively as the body of Christ.

Missional Communities at McBIC

My home church, McBIC (Mechanicsburg Brethren in Christ) has been talking about missional communities in the services the past month or so. This week, our Senior Pastor and one of the other pastors on staff posted this video to talk about what missional communities look like at McBIC and share their vision. I know that this idea is popular in Christian circles, so I thought I’d share it here so that my readers could give me their feedback and thoughts, then I can either share with Pastor Layne or Pastor John or point them to this post. I’m especially curious what my friend Rob Martin will think, given that he is the one who I first heard talking about the ideas that are at work here. Thanks!

Personally, I had an obvious connection to the foster care/adoption idea. We have adopted from the foster system, and have not felt a release that we are done with that. Right now, we are not actively engaged in the system, but there is a good chance we will be again at some point. Either way, God has certainly been working on our hearts since the early days of our marriage to impress on us his heart for the orphans at home and abroad. The idea of being part of a community within McBIC that could support foster care and adoption is pretty exciting to me!

The Joy of a Messy Life

The Author with His Three Kids at Wildwood Park

Great post about the messy-ness of the Christian life from my friend Cindy King last week over at The King Zoo and Funny Farm. She was contemplating life as an adoptive mother (in addition to five biological children) in light of the call of Christ to live a life of sacrifice. Here is a recent example from her life:

Recently, in a conversation about our adoptions, someone said to me, “Well, I hope that works out for you.” It took me quite some time before I figured out why that statement bothered me so much but I’ve come to realize that it’s the approach to life, seen behind this statement, that troubles me. The person who said this is a Christian. Like many American Christians, we’ve come to appreciate our comfortable lives and don’t want sacrifice, complications, or “messy” situations to get in the way of that comfortableness. It’s that sense of entitlement that I’m always fighting against in my children. If we look at our families, for example, from an American standpoint, “easy” or comfortable is good, “messy” is bad. In this view, raising children, adopted or biological, can be deemed successful by how well it “works out” or looks to our human eyes.

However, from a Biblical standpoint, “I hope that works out for you,” should have a totally different result. Did it “work out” for Joseph in prison? Paul and Silas ended up there, too. How about the many martyrs through the years? Or the missionaries at the end of the spear in a remote jungle. Here on earth it looks as if things didn’t work out. From Heaven’s eyes? Perfect.

A friend recently asked me to schedule some time with her as she and her husband are getting closer and closer to their anticipated adoption. As I’ve contemplated what to share with her, I really think this is where I’m going to start. If God has truly called you to adopt (or pack up and move, or minister in Ecuador, or start a new non-profit, or . . . ), then the good news is that it WILL work out because we DO know the end of the story. Will it look the way you expect? Probably not. Messy in the meantime? Maybe. Filled with blessings and help from above? Absolutely. And in the end? A reward ready and waiting.

Might I need a few trips to the Funny Farm before it’s all over? Yeah. In fact, I was there today. But that’s okay.

As many of my reader know, my wife and I have adopted two children from the foster system in PA. We also have a biological daughter and another child on the way. When the baby arrives, our oldest will be 7, and our adopted kids will be 6 and 4. (If you want history on our adoption process, check out my previous posts by looking for the adoption category in the right hand margin of this page, or check here for my “Adoption!” post.) Here is my response in the comments section of her post:

Very well said, Cindy. This says so well some of the things we’ve processed along the way. It isn’t about our comfort or convenience. We’re doing this because we know it is what He wants, and we trust Him to handle the details and the results. It isn’t easy, but it is so much more amazing and fulfilling than the comfortable life of complacency.

Thanks, Cindy, for the reminder of how wonderful life can be, even though it gets messy. I wouldn’t give up the craziness that is our home for anything. I praise God that we have a church (McBIC) that encourages our view of life, and one where we can be surrounded by so many who share our passion for adoption and care for the least of these.

Happy Adoption Day Kids!

Today, we celebrate the second anniversary of the adoption of our two youngest (for now) kids. It has been amazing to watch them grow, through all of the frustrations, joys, trials, etc. We love them beyond measure, and couldn’t possibly image life without them. We consider ourselves to  be so very blessed, and thank God for the humbling privilege of being their mom and dad (as well as Abby’s mom and dad, of course). Coincidentally, I came across this video that our youth pastor at McBIC posted on the wall of a mutual friend.  It seemed to sum up so well how I sometimes feel as a dad (overwhelmed with the responsibilities in light of my imperfection). Enjoy, but you dads out there might want to have tissue ready in case your eyes get “sweaty”.

Sanctity of Life Part 1

This is Part 1 of a two part (see Part 2 here) post tied to the Sanctity of Human Life week. For some, this was marked by the March for Life in Washington, DC yesterday. This post is inspired by this thoughtful story from Michelle Pirraglia, a “survivor” of abortion, on Patheos (HT: Rob Martin). To be fair, I’m not sure I would use that label. Her parents doctor recommended that her mother, an MS patient, have an abortion, but her parents never considered it, let alone actual attempt it. The concerns of the doctor were for the health of the mother, and were medically reasonable, I suppose. Thankfully, her parents valued her life enough to take the risk, and carry her to term, and give birth to a wonderful daughter who is thankful to them for their choice, and one who would go on to tell their story (she starts the article with her story). I really thought the article was an interesting read, and found these two paragraphs near the end to be especially thought provoking.

How often have we heard the rally cry “My body, my choice” from supporters of abortion? While these women are saying, “This is my body, to do with what I want,” Jesus says, “This is my body which will be given up for you.” Think about that contrast.

Using abortion as a response to poverty, rape, or medical illnesses is simply answering one evil or injustice with another evil and injustice. It doesn’t negate the problem, even if it temporarily relieves an illness, and causes more problems than what proponents believe it “solves,” beginning with the loss of an innocent life. What is needed is true compassion and real assistance, both for the woman and the child. I say this having known women who have suffered the effects of having an abortion, and as someone who has tried to back up my pro-life words with actions.

My challenge would be to extend this self-sacrifice in ways that Ms. Pirraglia does not address in her column, except towards the end of this section. That is, how do we as “Pro-Life” Christians interact with women who are contemplating abortion, women who have had an abortion (repentant or not) and those who are proponents of abortions. Do we show God’s love? Are we willing to sacrifice of ourselves? The many pro-life Christian pregnancy centers are certainly putting legs to their faith with their care for women contemplating abortion, and post-abortion care as well. If you are involved in that directly or indirectly, good for you. I can’t help but feel, however, that most of us find it easy to be pro-life in word, but would be hard pressed to show how we have done anything to make a real difference in helping the unborn.

For us, foster care and adoption is one way we have chosen to help. Being willing to take in children whose parents can’t or won’t be able to care for them helps to remove at least one barrier from women who use that as an excuse to abort. What about young women who have no place to go because their parents would kick them out for being pregnant? They sure could use a Christian home that would show them love, support, parenting skills, and safety while they carry their child, and possibly continued support either at home or as they find their own place to ehlp them care for their child or process the decision to give the child up for adoption. Caring pregnancy centers sometimes match volunteeers with women needing this kind of sacrificial love.

Can’t do that? What about all the old baby furniture, toys, and clothes? If you aren’t passing all of that on to friends, or planning to reuse it yourself, why not donate it to an agency that can redistribute it to parents-to-be that need to know that they aren’t all alone, and that others can help where they may not have the money to provide all the immediate needs of a newborn. Foster/adoption agencies can use that kind of stuff as well. (Though they generally prefer new clothes, etc.)

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Next: Sanctity of Life Part 2

Recent Thoughts on the Church and Foster/Adoption

Someone we met last summer through mutual friends shared a link to this article on PennLive.com today (the website affiliated with the Harrisburg Patriot-News). The article features her and her husband as an example of what Bethany Christian Services is looking for in their new “Safe Families” initiative. Essentially, they are looking for families who are willing to step in to help care for children whose parents need a little time to get back on their feet. This is not foster care, at least as I read it. The state has not stepped in at all. The families in need are aware of their own need, and want help. The families that volunteer to help step in and take care of the kids for a month or more while the parents get housing, income, or whatever else they need situated. This is an attempt to keep these families out of the foster care system, and reduce the strain on that system. There are examples in the article of this working in other states, and now Bethany Christian Services is attempting to bring it to the Harrisburg region. This seems like a pretty cool idea. I haven’t checked out all of the details to see what types of resources (money, clothes, car seats, etc.) is provided by Bethany vs. supplied by the volunteers, but it seems like a pretty awesome way for those who are not able or willing to foster/adopt to still be involved in ministry to these at-risk kids. You can check out more from Bethany’s own website, or from safe-families.org.

For more on what churches can do to support foster/adoptive families (and I think this applies for “Safe Families” as well), here are ten things from David Wooten (posted at ligonier.org. Check out the post for details of the items on this list!

1. PRAY

2. LEARN

3.  WELCOME

4. ENCOURAGE

5. GIVE6. GO

7. VOLUNTEER

8. ADOPT OR FOSTER

9. MOBILIZE

10. ADVOCATE

Wooten leaves us with these thoughts:

The Bible says that “true and undefiled religion in the eyes of God the Father is to care for orphans and widows in their distress” There is no clearer picture of the gospel than that of adoption. God took us when we were slaves to sin and brought us into His forever family to become His children. When you become involved in the ministry of adoption and orphan care, you are displaying the glorious gospel for the world to see. Regardless of how you are involved, by engaging in caring for orphans in their distress, you are practicing true and undefiled religion. Yours can be an investment that can impact many lives and will last a lifetime and beyond.

Rebelling Against the American Dream

Read this interesting article a couple of weeks ago (HT: John Fea’s blog). Here is a taste, followed by a few words of reaction from yours truly.

We American Christians have a way of taking the Jesus of the Bible and twisting him into a version of Jesus that we are more comfortable with.

A nice middle-class American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn’t mind materialism and would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts.

A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who for that matter wants us to avoid danger altogether. A Jesus who brings comfort and prosperity to us as we live out our Christian spin on the American Dream.

But lately I’ve begun to have hope that the situation is changing.

The 20th-century historian who coined the term “American Dream,” James Truslow Adams, defined it as “a dream… in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are.”

But many of us are realizing that Jesus has different priorities. …

He then talks about how his church has processed this and reacted:

First we gave away our entire surplus fund – $500,000 – through partnerships with churches in India, where 41 percent of the world’s poor live. Then we trimmed another $1.5 million from our budget and used the savings to build wells, improve education, provide medical care and share the gospel in impoverished places around the world. Literally hundreds of church members have gone overseas temporarily or permanently to serve in such places.

And it’s not just distant needs we’re trying to meet. It’s also needs near at hand.

One day I called up the Department of Human Resources in Shelby County, Alabama, where our church is located, and asked, “How many families would you need in order to take care of all the foster and adoption needs that we have in our county?”

The woman I was talking to laughed.

I said, “No, really, if a miracle were to take place, how many families would be sufficient to cover all the different needs you have?”

She replied, “It would be a miracle if we had 150 more families.”

When I shared this conversation with our church, over 160 families signed up to help with foster care and adoption. We don’t want even one child in our county to be without a loving home. It’s not the way of the American Dream. It doesn’t add to our comfort, prosperity, or ease. But we are discovering the indescribable joy of sacrificial love for others, and along the way we are learning more about the inexpressible wonder of God’s sacrificial love for us. …

He continues, but you can read it at the link above. Reading this brought tears to my eyes. As a father of two kids who were adopted from the foster-care system, a church taking this approach to making a difference in their world and community is what this world needs. We don’t need more churches encouraging Christians to pursue prosperity or comfort. This, in my view, is heresy.

Christ called us to take up our cross. He also assured us that in this world we would have trouble, but to be assured that, despite appearances, He has overcome this world. He overcame it, not to make life easy for us, but to change our hearts, and open our eyes to making a difference for His Kingdom. Instead, we tend to gravitate toward what makes us comfortable. Yes, God does want our best, and often chooses to bless us with physical health and answers our prayers in ways that we hope. I wonder, though, if this is sometimes our settling for less than God’s best. Why must I assume that God’s best for me to prepare me for eternity is the same as what makes me most comfortable here on earth? I applaud this church for setting an example of something that the community can see and be drawn to. It is something different. Where in the world do you find this type of sacrifice? This is the Kingdom breaking through!

Even so, come Lord Jesus, but in the meantime, please help more of us to catch this vision of Your Kingdom breaking through on this world.